When You Feel Like You Don't Belong

Dear Darry,Soda,Kit,and Pony, Hey! I hate North Carolina and I want to come though I know im stuck here. Boarding school is awful. I got detention on the first day for calling Mr. Harris (my math teacher) a prick. I had to clean his classroom and write a 5 page report on why its not nice to call people names! They make you work hard and it sucks. I dont fit in at all. There is a group of girls that like to make fun of me. I got in a fight with them so I had to wash windows,pick up trash,and write another 5 page report on why its not nice to hit people. I hate my roommates. They act like I dont exsist cause im "poor". I did make one friend! Zeke is really cute and he makes me laugh a lot. Well I hope all is well. Tell the gang hi for me. -Luv Sunny-

North Carolina Here I Come

I was hanging out in my room being bored when Darry walked in. "Sunny we need to talk." He said. "What?" I asked. "I talked to Sammi's parents and they agreed to take u to North Carolina with them." He told me. "What? I mean u want me to move to North Carolina? No way. They are sending Sammi to boarding school. I'm not going to boarding school. I'm not leaving here." I yelled. "It's just till december. You need a break from everything and boarding school for a few months might be good for you. Your going whether u want to or not. You leave tomorrow." "This sucks. What about the gang and Soda,Kit and Pony?" I cried. "You can call or write. You better get packing." He replied and then walked back into the living room. I can't believe he's sending me away. Im going to post about everything while im there I promise. Im going to miss u guys!

Stupid Mistakes

Friday night was the back to school bonfire. They have it every year and someone always brings alcohol! After all the drama with Ryan and the fire I thought it would be fun. I was hanging out with Sammi, Alex,Kristina, and Todd when Ryan showed up with a girl. I couldn't help wishing I was that girl. "Well can we say awkard?" Alex asked. " Just hand me a beer." I replied. My brother's and my sister Kit would be pissed at me but I wasn't thinking at the moment. "Hey Sunny. I got some pills if u want to try them. Their awesome." Todd told me. "Ok. I'll take a few." I replied. I was flying high later and having a lot of fun too but that all changed when I spotted Ryan talking to Bob. I got closer so I could hear what they were saying. "You can't tell Sunny the truth Ryan. Your gonna ruin everything." Bob yelled. " She needs to know that I work for you and I have just been using her to get to her family and the gang. I like her a lot and I can't stand to hurt her anymore." Ryan replied. I felt so sick. How could he do this? I mean cheating on me is one thing but this I would never get over. " How could you do this? I trusted you. I opened up to you and you knew how hard that was for me. You used me to get to my family and the gang. " I screamed. "Sunny I didn't know your were there." Ryan said. " Yeah well I saw you with Bob. What are you doing talking to that garbage?" I asked. "He works for me honey. He's a soc like me and you better watch it kid." Bob said. "I'll let you handle this." He told Ryan and then walked away. "Your a soc?" I screamed. "Yeah." Ryan said. My heart was racing and I felt really sick. " Did you know Logan was going to kill Dante?" I asked. "I try to stop him Sunny but he wouldn't listen and that's why I helped you and Sammi turn him into the cops." He replied. "Oh so you felt guilty? Well you should. Dante trusted you. I trusted you. You watched Sammi and I fall apart over his death and you never told us the truth. How could you do this to Dante? To us?" I cried. "I'm sorry Sunny." He said. "Did you know what Bob was going to do to Soda and Katie? What about my sister or Johnny and Kat?" I asked. "I wanted to stop him but I couldn't." That was all Ryan could say. I felt so helpless and guilty for even falling for Ryan. "Just go Ryan." I yelled. "I'm so sorry I hurt you." He said as he walked away. I had to get out of there. I needed to think and to be alone. I was feeling so sick from the alcohol and pills and then everything Ryan told me. I ran home crying. "Sunny what's wrong?" Soda asked as I stumbled through the door. I went to bathroom and started throwing up. After about 20 mintues I made my way to my room and shut the door. I curled up with my blankets and Mr. Cuddles my teddy bear and cried till my chest hurt.

Trapped: Part 3

I wasn't sure where I was and I kept hearing a beep beep beep. There was a bright light and voices. I opened my eyes to see my family and the gang sitting and standing around me. "OH MY GOSH! Sunny your awake. You almost died. You were not breathing when we brought u and Sammi here. They told us once they revived u that u could still die." Kit cried. "Don't ever do that again." Darry said. Soda and Pony were jumping up and down screaming "yea yea yea." I wanted to talk but the oxygen mask was in the way. "You got a lot of get well presents. I can help u eat the muffins." Johnny told me. I had to smile at that. Two-bit and Kit got me a mickey mouse snow globe. Steve got me a camera, Dally a scrapbook, my brothers got me a giant teddy bear, Kat got me the complete set of Ernest movies and there are gummi bears from Emily and more candy from Jamie, Elena, Dimitri,Carson, and Mark. Thank you guys for saving me and Sammi and for all the presents. I LOVE U ALL! If it wasn't for u Sammi and I would be dead. U ROCK!

Trapped: Part 2

..we went to check on some of the other rooms to see if there was any way out. "Shit. We have to get out of here." Sammi choked out. "I know. I can't breathe with all this smoke and my asthama is kicking in." I said. We tried to put some of flames out with blankets but it was no use. We sat inside Sammi's closet. We screamed for my brothers, my sister, Kat, Johnny, Two-bit, and the rest of the gang. We wanted them to know where we were. After awhile we both went quiet. My mind was going crazy with pictures of my family and the gang. I didn't want to die yet but I was and somehow it was peaceful and easy. Life is harder. I closed my eyes and fell into total darkness...

Trapped: Part 1

I was hanging out with Sammi at her house. We were hanging out in Dante's room. I had lied to Darry and told him that Sammi's parents would be home but they went out for the night. I knew we shouldn't of been by ourselves cause Bob and all but that night I didn't care cause after the whole Ryan cheating thingy I needed a break. So were looking through one of Dante's old yearbooks when we heard hammering coming from outside. We went to check it out. "I can't get the front door opened." Sammi told me. "Your back door won't open either." I told her. We tried to open the windows but they wouldn't budge. "What's going on?" I asked Sammi. "I dont know but I bet socs have something to do with it." She replied. "Do u smell that?" I asked. "Yeah. It smells like smoke." She said. We could see smoke coming from the back of her house. I grabbed the phone and dialed 911 and then called my house. Kit answered. She said she would get everyone and they would be there soon. I could tell she was crying. We went to check some o

I Hate You But I Still Love You

I was hanging out with the gang at the park. We were just having fun playing on the slides and acting like dorks. "Hey Sunny isn't that Ryan?" Pony asked me. I turned to see who he was talking about . "It is. I'll be back." I told everyone. I started to run towards Ryan when I noticed there was a girl with him. I watched as he kissed her. I could feel my heart breaking. "Oh my gosh. What is he doing?" I heard Kat yell. Ryan heard her and turned to look at me. I ran away with tears streaming down my face. "Sunny wait please. I'm sorry baby. Please let me explain." Ryan yelled after me. "What's there to explain? Your a cheating,lying,jerk,and a heart breaker. I never should of trusted you." I screamed. "Leave my sister the hell alone you asshole." Kit told Ryan after she punched him. My brother's and the gang took their turn at him. I just ran home crying. I locked myself in my room. I hate him so much but I still love him. Everyone tried to cheer me up but I was too depressed. I still am.

Sister Day!

This one is for my sister KitKat who is always there for me even when im not always there for her. Sorry Kit and your the best big sister anyone can have. Friday started out horrible..I had to go to school which sucked and then I had to go to the doctor for my asthma checkup. Ugh..Darry had to schedule "After" school of course. Kit ended up taking me and then afterwards we went out for ice cream and shopping! I had saved up some money and Darry gave us 40 bucks. We had a blast harrassing people and acting like dorks. We went to the mall and rode on this thing they had set up inside. Its suppose to make u feel like your on a roller coaster. Everyone in the mall probably thought we were crazy. We screamed so loud. I had so much just hanging with my sister and it took a lot of stuff off my mind. That was the best Sister Day ever! Thanks KitKat. Luv u big sis and im sorry I haven't been spending more time with u lately. Thanks for being there for me through all the shit lately.

School Sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I started school the other day...Talk about boring. Darry says I have to pay attention instead of sleeping like I normally do. Ugh..fine Darry whatever you say. My locker is right next to Sammi's and we have all the same teachers and classes so at least that is fun cause we talk a lot and throw paper wads and spit balls too...which is why I got detention on the first day. Darry was pissed. "Sunny Sky Curtis. What the hell?" He yelled when I got home at 6pm. "Detention." I replied. He sighed at sat on the couch. "I'm not even going to ask." He said. It was hard going to school though. Everyone was staring at Sammi and me and we could here them whispering about Dante and getting Logan thrown in jail for life. "So how are you guys doing?" Kristina asked while Sammi and I were chilling at our lockers. "Fine." We both lied. We must of had 50 people ask us how we were doing. We both just lied and said were ok and of course they bought it and we didn't mean it once. They day got worse when I found out Logan's younger brother Joshua is in most of my classes and I have to sit by him. I wanted to crawl under my seat. "Your one of them that got my brother thrown in jail?" He asked me in history class. "Yeah. I would say sorry but i'm not." I replied. "Fair enough. But you better watch your back cause you got a giant target on it now." He said. "Great. Just fucking wonderful." I thought to myself. How did my life become such a nightmare? "So how was school?" Soda asked me when I got home. "A fucking disaster." I replied. "Sunny Sky Curtis watch your mouth." Darry yelled from the kitchen. Soda and I just laughed. "So it was that bad?" Soda asked. "You have no idea. I have Logan's younger brother to deal with now and he says all the socs want to kill me, people keep staring at me and Sammi and I hate my teachers." I replied. "Well your not going anywhere by yourself now and Sammi and your boyfriend Ryan better do the same." Soda told me. "It's fine. I can handle it." I said. "No you will not!" Darry yelled. "I'm not a baby Darry." I replied. I swear he treats me like i'm 2 instead of 13. "I know but Bob is going crazy and who knows what he will try to do to you guys. He's pissed you got Logan thrown in jail for life!" He told me. So pretty much thanks to those stupid socs Dante is dead, we put Logan in jail so now all the socs want us dead, I have to deal with Joshua at school, and school just sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Catching A Killer: Part 2

"Come out and maybe we won't kill you." Bob yelled. "We can't go out the way we came in so there's a ladder over there that leads to a loft. We got to get over there." Ryan told Sammi and me. "Ok let's get this over with." I said. One by one we made our way quietly up the ladder. We were doing good till I almost slipped causing a giant noise. "Got ya now." Logan said while he tried to grab my leg. "Let go u asshole." I yelled and then promptly kicked him in the face. Ryan and Sammi pulled me up and we took off to search the rooms for a place to escape. "Nothing girls. Were going to jump out the window." Ryan said. "Sweet niblets." I replied. "Ok here we go again with the stunts." Sammi said. We stepped back,braced ourselves for impact, and then we jumped. It was a hard hit to say the least. "I can hotwire that." Ryan told us while pointing to a car. "Let's go then." I said. We made our way to the police station to turn in our evidence. Darry was pissed that I did such a stupid thing but I had to do it!

Catching A Killer: Part 1

"You sure u guys want to do this?" Ryan asked Sammi and me. "Yeah. We got to do this for Dante." I replied. "Do we have everything?" Sammi asked. "Yep. Tape recorder and blades in case we need them." Ryan said. We headed from Ryan's house over to the southside of town. We were going to find Logan. If the cops couldn't find proof that he killed Dante then we would get it for them. "Shh. There is Logan and looks like he's with Bob." I told Sammi and Ryan. We were hiding behind a dumpster in an alley. We could see them just a few feet away. "You killed him and the cops have no idea. That's great." I heard Bob say. "Hey hey who is there?" Logan yelled. "Shit. Run." Ryan yelled. We were running through the park with Logan and Bob behind us. I had a confession on tape and they knew it. "Go in that building." I yelled to Sammi and Ryan. We got inside and found a place to hide. "Come out come out wherever u are." We could here Logan yell. "What are we going to do?" Sammi asked. "I dont know." I said....

Girls Night

"You can put your stuff where ever u want. Just make yourself at home." Kat told me. She had invited me over for a sleepover the other day and after Dante being killed I needed a break. "So I bought your favorite ice cream Cookie Dough and I picked up some movies. "Youth in Revolt, The Tooth Fairy and you always need a corny one so I got Ernest Goes to Hollywood." I laughed. Kat always know's how to cheer me up. "So how are u really doing?" Kat asked as we sat eating ice cream and watching Hannah Montana. "The truth is I cant sleep without having nightmares and when I walk past the cornor of Pickett I freeze." "Im so sorry Sunny and u know I have your back. I will always be here for ya." I smiled knowing I could always count on her. It was so much fun hanging out with her. We watched the movies and of course Kat was right Ernest was so corny but I had never laughed so much in all my life. We went to the park and played on all the slides and took some silly pictures. I enjoyed the time with my bff. Thanks Kat

The Hardest Thing To Say Is Goodbye

Saturday was Dante's funeral. I laid in bed for awhile wishing today would go away and Dante would return. "Sunny we got to go. You don't want to be late." Soda yelled. I sighed knowing what I had to do. We got to the church and I went to find Sammi. The whole gang was there for support. "Sunny we got everything set up. Are you ready?" Sammi asked. "Yeah. Just nervous. I hope Dante like's it." I replied. "He will. I know he's watching and here is his lucky necklace. He would want you to have it." She said. I hate music and I hadn't sang in forever but I sung my heart out for Dante that day. His family had asked me to sing "Bye bye" by Mariah Carey and "Who you would be today" by Kenny Chesney. I wasn't sure at first but my cousin Emily had talked me into it. Dante gave his life for Sammi's and mine so I didn't mind though it hurt so much and broke my heart to say goodbye.
I clutched Dante's necklace as I stood at his grave. I wiped my tears and turned to Soda, "Im going to go for a walk." I told him. He hugged me before saying "Come home when your read." I waved and then headed to the secret spot where Dante use to take Sammi and me on Sunday's. It was our place to chill and relax. A place away from socs and other things that bothered us. I stood watching the waves go in and out. I reached up and touched Dante's lucky necklace which was now hanging from my neck. I didn't want to say goodbye. "This is not fair." I yelled at nothing or anyone in particular. I mean Dante was only 21 years old. He was suppose to marry his fiance Silena in the fall and she was due with their first child in December. She just found out she was having a boy. I felt for that boy. There would be no baseball games, his dad wouldn't teach him how to fight, and most of all he would never get to know his father. I thought of this and how the hardest thing to say is goodbye. With tears pouring down my face I whispered, "Goodbye Dante."

Losing Dante

Sammi had finally told me she was sorry about everything and had invited me to go to the movies with her and her older brother Dante. Dante was amazing. He was fun and often reminded me of Soda at times. I met them at their house and we started walking to the Nightly Double. We made it to Pickett when 4 socs jumped us. We were fighting for awhile before they took off. In the end Dante laid bleeding on the ground. He had been stabbed. Sammi and I both screamed for help. I told Sammi to give me her jacket and I tried to put as much pressure as I could on the wound. The ambulance finally came. We waited in the hospital for hours. When the doctor finally came to talk to us he said they did all they could but it was too late. Dante died. We just sat in the waiting room not saying anything. I was suppose to be home hours ago but I couldn't move so I just stared at the walls. My heart is broken. Why Dante? Why couldn't I save him? I can't sleep without having a nightmare. That night will forever haunt me.

Going Nuts

"Please Darry. I'm going nuts. I can't wait till tomorrow. I need air now." I begged. All I wanted to do was go on a walk but Darry was refusing to let me go. "Sunny you need to take an easy. You almost died." He replied. I gave Soda who was sitting on the couch a pleading look. "No way. Im staying out of it." He said. "Pretty please?" I asked while making my best puppy dog face. Darry sighed. "Ok but i'm going with you." He said. "Yea! We should go see Kat." I replied. It was a nice night. The sunset was amazing. We ended up hanging out with Kat for a couple hours. We talked about Ryan. I told her how scared I was to be with him cause I never thought I could love him. I mean i'm only 13. She told me not to walk away just because I was scared. I didn't want to wonder what could of been later on. We talked about how we want to stomp the socs. It was a fun night and I was glad Darry had let me out of the house. I had started to make escape plans. I can't stand being confined. I go nuts after awhile.

I thought I was going to die

So on saturday Ryan took me out Dairy Queen and then we went to the water park. We went on all the slides and had a huge water fight. Ryan was chasing me around with a water gun when I ran right into some socs. "Well well well it looks like we found us a little greaser." One of them said. "Get away from my girlfriend." Ryan yelled. "I don't think so buddy. This young lady here is a Curtis and were going to have some fun with her first."You better back off." I snapped. "What you going to do? Tell your brother Soda? How is Soda and his pretty little wife doing?" He asked sarcastically. I lost it and kicked him in a very painful place. Ryan started punching some of the others who were trying to get to me. I went to kick the guy again when he punched me in the chest. That was all it took for me to go down. I couldn't breathe and I was having an asthma attack. Ryan flipped out and all the socs took off. Ryan got a medic who had to give me a shot cause I was going into asthmatic shock. I thought I was dying!

Ryan

"So you hate music?" Ryan asked as he walked me home. We had both ended up in after school detention so it was after 5pm. " Yeah. I know it sounds crazy." I whispered. " No. I mean if my mom died I think I would feel the same way about movies. We have movie night like every night at 10 when she gets home from work. It's really the only time we get to hangout." He replied. " I wish Sammi could understand?" I said. "Yeah well Sammi has always been more about herself." Ryan told me. "So you never talk about your dad. Is there a reason?" I asked. Ryan was silent for a few. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." I said. "It's ok. I don't know my dad. He left my mom as soon as he found out she was pregnant. I don't ever want to know him. It's not so much about me as it is about my mom. I mean I don't see how he could of left her." He replied. " Your poor mom." I said horrified. "Yeah. I know." Ryan replied. "Well this is my house. Do you want to hangout?" I asked. " Yeah. I would love to." He said. We ended washing Darry's truck. Well actually we played more in the water than washing the truck. I don't think my brothers were happy about me bringing a boy home. I introduced him to the gang. Everyone was nice but I could tell they don't think I should be with Ryan. Maybe it's cause i'm the youngest. He's going to take me out to eat and then to the water park tomorrow:>

Crazy Day

Ok..so I know I already posted once but that didn't really count so I thought I would do an actual post. This was was hard to write. Yesturday I got in a huge fight with my best friend. Sometimes it takes awhile but you learn who your true friends are. It takes years to build up trust but only one second to destroy it.

"So what shall we do today?" I asked my best friend Sammi as we walked along the railroad tracks. "Umm..well there is something I wanted to ask you." She replied. "What it is?" I asked curiously. "I wanted to go to this concert tonight with Matt but my parents won't let me go unless I take a friend. Kristina has plans and so does Lexi. So I was wondering if you wanted to double date with Ryan cause I know you like him. So I asked him and he said he would love to go with you. I was just wondering if you will go?" She asked. I froze. How could she ask me this. She knows I hate music. " No!" I replied angrily. " What is with you?" She snapped back. "You know I hate music Sammi." I replied sadly. " You have got to get over that. I mean just cause your parents died and you hate music your going to ruin my chance to finally go out with Matt. I asked Ryan out for you and this is how you repay your best friend. Your parents are dead and they ain't coming back so snap out of it. Move on." Sammi yelled. I stood there shocked for a few mintues. " Why does every damn song make you so depressed?" Her words broke through my thoughts. I turned towards her with tears in my eyes and unleashed everything inside me that had been bottled up. " You have no idea what it is like to lose someone you love. You know why I hate music? Why every song makes me so damn depressed? It's cause when I hear music or just any song. It reminds me of what I lost. I can see my dad and mom and how happy we were. I can picture my dad and me singing. I can even smell the wood off his old beat up guitar. It's like i'm in a place where I can see them and the past but as hard as I try I can't bring them back." I screamed. Sammi stared at me and said in a serious tone. "They have been dead for awhile now. Can't you find away to move on? Your brother Soda is right when he tells you not to give up music." I couln't believe it she was actually using my brothers words against me. "I'm done with music. It's hurts too much so I quit and don't try to use what Soda said against me. It won't work." I yelled. " Fine but have you ever thought that the reason it hurts too much is becomes you can't see past your own pain?" She asked. " I'm done talking about this. I trusted you of all people to understand but I was wrong so were through." I said. As I walked away she yelled " I will tell Ryan you don't want to go out." "I have his number and I don't need you to hook me up with someone."

My first Post!

Hey Everyone,
This is my first blog:> My name is Sunny Sky Curtis. I'm the youngest of the Curtis siblings. I just turned 13 back on May 29th. I'm in the 8th grade at Tulsa Middle School. I love to read. I'm alot like my older brother Ponyboy but i'm wild and reckless like my other older brother Sodapop and my older sister KitKat and I love sports just like my oldest brother Darry. I have asthma though so Darry doesn't let me run around too much. I've had it since I was 5 years old. It sucks cause anything like running too much, dust, flowers, or geting sick can cause me to have an attack. My brothers and sister and even the gang is real good at making sure i'm ok. Darry stocks up on coffee a lot cause in case you didn't know coffee beans open up your airways. If i'm having an attack and I can't get to my inhaler I can use coffee. I've had to do it before. It's so gross! I miss mom and dad a lot. Mom use to read to me all the time and dad would sit and play his old beat up guitar with me. We would get everyone together and just sing and play music. I haven't sang or played the guitar since mom and dad died. Soda says I need to cause dad wouldn't want me to give up music but I can't cause it hurts too much and I don't want to anymore. Things are just not the same anymore. I hate music! I know it sounds crazy. I mean everyone has a favorite song or singer. Ponyboy loves Britney Spears but to me music reminds me of what I lost so I don't listen to it and I don't play it anymore. Even though mom is gone I know I have KitKat to talk to when I want to talk about boys or other stuff. She understands almost eveything like Soda. Though Soda doesn't like to hear me talk about boys cause he says i'm to young. I love watching sunsets with Pony and Johnny. Johnny gets me like nobody else really can. He really is everyone's kid brother..well I guess I would actually be his kid sister. The rest of the gang is always picking on me cause i'm the youngest but they treat me like one of them cause they think i'm real mature for my age. I know the score and how things work. I might be 13 but i'm not a kid like Darry says I am. I hate be called or treated like a kid. It's so annoying! Well that is pretty much all you need to know about me so until next time....Later everyone:>